Good things in music August 26, 2008

This last week has been one of the harder times in our journey, and I came out of the weekend feeling totally inadequate and emotionally drained. Yesterday on the way home, I turned my iPod to Michael McLean. For anyone who hasn’t heard him before, he is an LDS singer-songwriter, and has written several songs that have had huge personal meaning for me over the years. A couple of good ones in a row came on for me yesterday-

- The Gift We Could Not Give Each Other
- Hold On
- From God’s Arms to My Arms to Yours

The first and last ones are specifically about adoption, both from the Adoptive couple side and from the birthmother side of things, while Hold On is more about enduring the trials that come to you along the way to great blessings. Now before you get cynical and think that I have only a few of his songs on my iPod, and it’s not that unusual to come up with that series of songs, I have almost 100 of his songs, among the 3000 songs I have on my iPod at any given time, and few of his songs have ever spoken to me as personally as those three in a row did. His music gave me renewed strength and focus to continue on our adoption journey, and reminded me that in the end, whatever trials we face along the way, they will be be insignificant compared to the blessing of adoption.

- Jon

Days Like Today August 25, 2008

Days like today make me so happy and grateful for my sweet Jon. He may not be perfect, but he is perfect for me.  This weekend has been a hard one for our little family.  He has such a tender heart and a way of providing comfort and reassurance when I need it the most.   Jon is there to give hugs when I need them and to be silly when I need to be distracted.  Words seem so inadequate…

 

Jon, I love you more than words can express and look forward to continuing this adventure…by your side.

XOXOX-

Rachel

 

What are the Chances? August 6, 2008

On Monday night we picked up our friend from the airport. As we greeted her and her baby by the baggage claim, our friend was trying to help a woman who clearly didn’t speak English.  She was from Uzbekistan and only spoke Russian. Our friend knew four words of Russian and was trying to help her find the baggage claim. While we were waiting for the luggage to arrive, it was clear that she was confused and panicked and needed help with something.  We wanted to help her, but with the language barrier, we had no idea what she needed. We quickly called my brother, who speaks Russian, to see if he could figure out what she was needing. It turns out she is here for Summerfest (a cultural exchange program in our town). She was supposed to be picked up from the airport and taken to a family that would host her for her stay. She had no contact information for Summerfest nor for the family.   

 

It was well after midnight and we couldn’t find anyone there greet her or take her where she needed to be.  We didn’t have the heart to leave her alone in a strange city without knowing the language. We all decided to stay until she figured out what was going on and where she was going.  Our friend talked to one of the airline reps and told her the situation.  They looked up the phone number for Summerfest . Our friend was able to reach someone who knew where this lady was supposed to be.  As it turns out, she needed to be somewhere that was three blocks away from where we were already headed.  We told the lady at Summerfest that we would drop this woman off where she needed to go.  

 

To make a long story (and a long night!) short.  We dropped the woman off around 1:00am and found out she is an artist.   She asked us, through a translator, if we would visit her during Summerfest – which we will.   It looks like she is an incredible artisan. This a picture of some of her work.  She was so gracious and kind.  We’re looking forward to seeing her again and hopefully learning more about her and her culture.

What are the chances?

We run into a lady who needs help.

My brother is able to help translate.

She is attending a program we are familiar with, held in our town.

The location she needs to go is on our way.

 

 

What a night!!! I still marvel at the way people, who don’t speak the same language, are able to communicate… heart-to-heart.

 

-Rachel 

Blessings, love, and Musings August 3, 2008

It was kindof a big weekend in our family, as far as church stuff goes. Yesterday, my niece was baptized and confirmed, and I was able to be a witness to the baptism, and in the circle as her father confirmed her. I was reminded how special the ability to act in priesthood ordinances is, and how much I am grateful to be able to participate in blessing those whom I love.

I was in the circle when my cousin’s little boy was blessed today, one of two in their ward, and a total of 3 baby blessings we listened to when you count the one in our ward. Not to start the pity party, but today was one of those days that it’s really hard to be waiting, hoping that our time is coming soon, so that we can be part of the joy that comes with all the new events in a little one’s life.

It also makes me think about what birthmothers/firstmothers go through in their lives.  They must want to know that their child is part of a loving and caring family, and in a case like today, where dozens of people on both sides of the family were in the congregation to support my cousin’s little boy, I can only imagine that families like this are what the plan is all about.

-Jon

These Are a Few of Our Favorite Things July 30, 2008

Rachel		Jon
Lemony Snicket	Author	Eoin Colfer
Hot chocolate with hazelnut syrup	Drink/Beverage	Mountain Dew
Series of Unfortunate Events	Book	Artemis Fowl
Take 5	Candy Bar	Snickers
Yearly family reunions with the extended family	Childhood Memory	Camping and hiking trips with my family
My Kid Sister doll, her name was Emily	Childhood Toy	LEGOS
Orange	Color	Red
Brownies – the fudge kind	Dessert	Chocolate Pie
Switzerland	Dream Vacation	European Castles
Gelato	Food	Cheese
Five Crowns	Game	Skip-bo
Cooking	Hobby	Reading
Christmas	Holiday	4th of July
Cooking Light or Rachael Ray	Magazine	TIME
Taking Jon to Disneyland for the first time	Memory with Spouse	Hearing Rachel say “holy crap that’s big” after seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time
Gilmore Girls (why did it have to end?)	TV Show	West Wing
Josh Groban	Music	Classic Rock
Breakfast foods	Thing to cook	Barbecue
Driving by the giant inflatable Santa  (obscenely giant – it makes me laugh)	Tradition	Waking up early on Christmas to open presents

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking July 21, 2008

One of my favorite poems…

-Rachel

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang up my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.
When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I LOOKED….and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.

-Mary Rita Schilke Korzan

Moments of wonder July 19, 2008

 

Milwaukee Harbor lighthouse

We made it to Milwaukee a couple of days ago, and have been spending time with our dear friends and their cute 1-year old little boy.  Last night we took a boat tour on the river and Lake Michigan with them, and I found myself wishing (a lot) that we had a little one in our lives. It is amazing how much this little guy can change our hearts and perspective on life in just a few days.  The waiting is hard, but these moments give a glimpse of the sweetness that lies ahead. This has been a fabulous vacation! 

 

-Jon

…And the skies were not cloudy all day July 16, 2008

We spent the last few days crossing South Dakota and Minnesota. The picture was taken in Wind Cave, just a little bit south of Mt. Rushmore, but we also saw the Crazy Horse monument, spent time driving through the Badlands, and played a lot of games together.  We took along Jon’s parent’s GPS and had fun plugging in our destinations and the laughing at where it actually sent us. The first night of our trip we plugged in a restaurant. The GPS took us up the side of a mountain. As we headed up there, we got excited for a resort town type restaurant/dinner. When it told us we were at our destination, we were facing the side of a mountain with nothing there. It is lucky we didn’t chuck the thing out of the window. Note to all: the Broken Spur Cafe in Casper, WY does NOT exist (at least that we could find). 

South Dakota is beautiful. We could have spent a week there and still have not seen everything there was to see. Mostly it was nice just spending time together. We even ended up extending our trip longer than planned. Our phones were out of range for most of the trip so we were able to focus on what matters most…our family!

-Rachel

Birthmothers and First Mothers July 7, 2008

Please excuse me as I stumble trying to convey my thoughts on this subject. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the last couple of days about the terminology of birthmother vs. first mother. I first heard the phrase “first mother” as I was perusing the web over the weekend and I LOVE it.  I like how it sounds. I like what it implies.  To our family the birth/first mother’s role encompasses so much more than merely the pregnancy and birth.  Someone once told me that when you love someone, a part of you will always love them and they will forever have a place in your heart.  Just as the first mother will always love her child, we, as a family, will always love her for role she plays in our family.  I am humbled daily to think about the legacy of love the first mother passes on to her child and eternally grateful to someday have the opportunity to add to the legacy, as the second mother.

-Rachel 

Another Road Trip July 7, 2008

We’re getting ready to head out on a road trip! We’ve spent most of our vacations west of the Rockies, but this time we’re heading through South Dakota and Minnesota on the way to Milwaukee.  Mount Rushmore, Minuteman Missile silos, and lots of nothing, plus a few lakes and the Mississippi River.  Should be a good trip, and we’ll post pictures as we go (hopefully)!

- Jon

Our Families July 4, 2008

We both come from wonderfully supportive families. We are fortunate to live nearby both sets of parents. Some of our favorite time is spent up at our family property in Idaho. We even helped build a lodge with our extended family!  We love to take weekend trips there and spend time playing games, canoeing, flying kites and Dutch oven cooking. Both families have been enthusiastic supporters of our decision to pursue adoption. They are waiting with much anticipation to love and spoil a new addition to our family.

We also have the privilege of living close to our niece and two nephews. We’ve been lucky enough to watch them grow and participate in their lives. We’ve spent time carving pumpkins, baking Christmas cookies, riding the train, playing at the park, painting fingernails and building LEGOS…and we’ve loved every minute of the laughter and smiles they’ve given us in return. We look forward to building experiences like these into traditions with our children. 

Meet Rachel July 3, 2008

Rachel is a beautifully creative woman, who delights in new experiences.  She never hesitates to express her compassion for other people, as she did when my mother was recently bedridden for 3 months.  Rachel would take time at least 2 or 3 times a week to stop by my parents’ house to have lunch and wash my mom’s hair, in addition to the evenings we would go together.  Patience and nurturing seem to come easily for her, and when we have time with our nieces and nephews, she doesn’t hesitate to play right along with them, regardless of how silly the playing may seem to a less understanding adult. As our family grows, Rachel will always be a willing participant (if not leader) in the fun.  One of my favorite experiences with Rachel was when we went to visit our family in Florida, and had the chance to play at the beach on the Gulf of Mexico.  It was Rachel’s first time in the ocean, and she seemed even more excited about it than any of the kids, and would have stayed just playing in the waves and walking barefoot in the sand all day.  Rachel takes the time to try to understand why people (especially me) feel and think the way they do, so that she can support their decisions and actions.  I know she genuinely cares for me, and will be able to show our children that same love.  

-Jon

Meet Jon July 3, 2008

Jon is a kind soul who thrives on being able to bring joy to others through serving them. He is patient, thoughtful and loyal. It seems like Jon knows how to do practically everything! He is the handyman in our house and constantly amazes me with his skill in fixing things.  Jon is a careful observer and learned how to do things by working with his dad around the house. Jon’s dad likes to recount that when Jon was younger he was so enthralled by learning how things worked that he took the doorknob apart one day, to see how it worked, and as his dad walked through the door and touched the doorknob, it fell out of the door. Jon has an incredible wealth of knowledge (some useful, some not so usefulJ). In fact, our out-of-state friends kept calling him one night as they were playing the “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” board game knowing he would have the answers when they were able to “phone a friend.” He got all the answers right!  Jon is a history buff.  His fascination for understanding other cultures has cultivated a deep respect for all people in different walks of life. He is going to make the best Daddy! I know he’ll be an active part of our children’s lives as he teaches, plays alongside and loves them. He is my hero and the solid rock in my life.  

-Rachel

Our letter… July 3, 2008

Hello,

Words cannot express the gratitude we feel in our hearts for mothers who provide selfless and loving stewardship for their children. We have longed to have our lives and hearts touched by the positive influence of a child. In spite of our struggles in this journey we have grown closer together. We are united as best friends fully committed to each other and our future family. 

As many couples do, we’ve spent countless hours dreaming of our future family and what kind of parents we will be.  In addition to giving our children heaps and heaps of unconditional love, we want to be the kind of parents who lead by example, and foster an environment where it is safe to make mistakes and where dreaming big is encouraged. We want to teach our children to be accepting of others and non-judgmental.  As a family, we will celebrate their journey into our family and honor the brave woman who gave them life.

We won’t say we know what you’re going through, because frankly we can’t. What we do know is how grateful we are to you for even considering our family. Should you choose us to parent your child, we are interested in maintaining a relationship with you with updates, visits, and photos, if that is your choice. We sincerely hope you are getting the love and support you need from those around you and that you’ll feel peace through the upcoming days and months, whatever your decision.

Warmly,

Jon and Rachel

We’re Approved!!! July 3, 2008

We received word from our LDSFS caseworker yesterday with the good news that our file has been approved for adoption. YEA!!!  We are both thrilled and excited at the possibilities that lie ahead.