Jon and Rachel

our lives, our love, and our adoption journey

Birthmothers and First Mothers July 7, 2008

Filed under: Adoption,Birth Mother,Birthparent,First Mother,Openness — jonandrachel @ 11:08 pm

Please excuse me as I stumble trying to convey my thoughts on this subject. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking over the last couple of days about the terminology of birthmother vs. first mother. I first heard the phrase “first mother” as I was perusing the web over the weekend and I LOVE it.  I like how it sounds. I like what it implies.  To our family the birth/first mother’s role encompasses so much more than merely the pregnancy and birth.  Someone once told me that when you love someone, a part of you will always love them and they will forever have a place in your heart.  Just as the first mother will always love her child, we, as a family, will always love her for role she plays in our family.  I am humbled daily to think about the legacy of love the first mother passes on to her child and eternally grateful to someday have the opportunity to add to the legacy, as the second mother.

-Rachel 

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4 Responses to “Birthmothers and First Mothers”

  1. roni Says:

    Welcome to blogland!
    Just ran across your blog. I admire your feeling towards birth/first mothers. When you do get “matched” or however you situation may end up being, I suggest you ask the baby’s mother what she prefers to be called. The votes go either way. Some even prefer Natural mother.
    Have you checked out some of the great birth/first mother blogs out there? Of course there are alot of great adoptive parent ones too!
    Mine-mine might scare you as I decided to parent after an adoption plan, BUT it does show what CAN happen when being a prospective adoptive parent.
    -Roni

  2. jonandrachel Says:

    roni:
    Thanks for the comment and feedback. We will definately ask the baby’s mother what she prefers to be called, and will honor that request.
    -Rachel

  3. marynsmommy Says:

    I like First Mother too! I am always getting grief from others when I call my Daughters First Mom, her Mother. I get the “YOU are her Mother” statement every time. Ok.. I know I am her Mom, but so was she and calling her anything else feels wrong to me.

    I have used birthmom before as well out of habit, but prefer First Mom. 🙂

  4. amy Says:

    I love both of these titles also Rachel! It’s wonderful to read of the deep honor and respect you already have for the future first mother of your child.


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